Mike Johnson Visits Earth Originally a Xargli, from the Alpha Centauri solar system, Mike Johnson has been on Earth a l o n g time. He has tried shape-shifting or morphing into many different species, but is currently enjoying being a human being, who writes poetry for children. As you can see, from the picture, he hasn't quite got human ears right, yet (this is his fourteenth attempt) WHAT IS IT ABOUT POETRY THAT YOU LIKE MOST? Well, being human is probably more to do with how you can use language than anything else and poetry is simply the best use of language, on your planet. beep beep WHY CHILDREN'S POETRY, IN PARTICULAR? First of all, children's poetry is brilliant! Children's poetry is certainly one of the most exciting and fun things I've discovered, on the Earth. Children's poetry is usually up to the minute and it covers a huge range of subjects - from astronauts to zero gravity. When I go into schools, children are very keen to listen to, read and write poems. I don't think I've met many adults who were quite so enthusiastic. We have very long childhoods, on my planet, so I like being with children and sharing their word-worlds. This poem has been popular, because it tells them about lots of things on my planet and about Xarglis. beep beep PROXIMA PROVERBS Popular sayings from Alpha Centauri Life begins at 400 Life isn't all snoomerjuice and smurkle Your third and fourth eyes are bigger than your mega-belly You're talking out of the tops of your heads You are who you eat When ice before Zorkfert bears a d'orkk nothing after, but vurk and v'orrk. The answers on the tip of my threaploop To err is Xargli to forgive, divine The other Xargli's gripqurdling is always greener WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE HUMAN POET? I don't really have a favourite poet, as such, but there are lots of poems I like reading again and again. A poem called Magic Bear by John Foster is delightful and there's a very funny poem by Paul Cookson called Arthur my half-cousin which always makes me laugh, until my threaploop goes all droopy. My most read 'classic' poems are probably Kubla Khan by Samuel Taylor Coleridge (1772-1834), which never fails to interest me and Not Waving but Drowning by Stevie Smith (1903-71). I met Coleridge once, by the way, but I was a dog, at the time. That reminds me, when I was a dog, I met a very unusual dog indeed and his owner wrote a poem about him, it went something like this: beep beep MIND-BOGGLED DOG for Liz Johnson Someone hypnotised our dog and now her voice is not quite right: instead of barking, what we hear is ‘Hee Haw’ late at night. She doesn’t ‘Yap’ or ‘Woof woof woof’; she neither snarls nor growls, but, wow, if you could only hear her ‘Twit twoo’ to owls! ‘Miaouw’ and ‘Eek’ and ‘Quack, quack, quack,’ then ‘Oink’ and ‘Oo, oo, oo’… We love our dog, sincerely, but just wish she wouldn’t, ‘Moo.’ (illustration by Talitha Blythe-Lord) WHERE CAN WE FIND POEMS OF YOURS? In lots of places, I'm pleased to say: The Trying Flapeze - ed. John Foster (Oxford 2004), Wizard Poems - ed. Fiona Waters (Macmillan 2004), Spooky Schools - ed. Brian Moses (Macmillan, 2004), Fiendishly Funny Poems - ed. John Foster (Harper Collins 2004), The Poetry Store - ed Paul Cookson (Hodder 2005), Read Me and Laugh - ed. Gaby Morgan (Macmillan 2005), Frogs in Clogs - ed. Gaby Morgan (Macmillan 2005). AND of course HERE! (I'm always visiting this site, because the children's poems on it are better than a glass of cold snoomerjuice.) beep beep SMALL PET POEM My newt is minute. I BELIEVE YOU ALSO HELP ADULTS TO WRITE POETRY Yes, I even teach teachers (they are very naughty, sitting at the back and giggling all the time). Amongst my present (or past) students are Liz Brownlee, Jacqueline Crill, Rachael House, Craig King, Anita Sackett, Andrea Shavick and Ruth Underhill, who have all been published recently. There were some others, but I ate them, sorry. Some adult writers are almost as enthusiastic about children's poetry as most children are. I like these people, even if they have only got one head - poets are the most interesting inhabitants of Earth. beep beep WHAT ELSE DO YOU DO, ON OUR PLANET? I like other species, apart from humans, very much and I have worked at London Zoo and as a volunteer in my local Dogs' and Cats' Home. Oh yes, and I discovered something called a 'funfair', recently, and did this: beep beep That was really fun. beep beep WELL, THANK YOU FOR SHAPE-SHIFTING OUR WAY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO END WITH ONE MORE POEM? My pleasure, I can assure you; we Xarglis live to serve other species. This is possibly my favourite poem that I've written, whilst on Earth. I've tried to say how important Life on Earth is and that you should look after it. beep beep MISSING Missing: our one and only planet, known to her friends as 'Earth'. Yes, an old photograph when she was clothed in gorgeous greens, wilderness white, brilliant blues. Somehow, got into bad company: blistered brown, gaunt grey, faded. Jaded, left one morning; no forwarding address. We just didn't think. . . We just didn't know what to do. If you have any information that can help us trace our beautiful planet, please get in touch. Please get in touch. beep beep beep beep beep (Earth illustration by Talitha Blythe-Lord) beep me back to the top, please