....

Burping in the classroom with
Kenn Nesbitt

Questions by Rhea Kuruvilla (aged 11)

What would you be if you weren't a poet?

If I weren't a poet, I would most like to be a retired billionaire. Realistically, though, I would probably be a computer software developer. That is what I did before I started writing poetry, so if I couldn't write poetry, I would most likely keep writing software.

Did you get good grades in school?
How important are they for becoming a poet?

I got mostly A's and B's in school, and mostly A's in college. I don't think that good grades are necessary for becoming a poet, but they don't hurt. Good grades are a sign that you work hard, and the ability to work hard is definitely necessary to become a poet.

When you were my age did you write any poems?

Nope. I didn't write my first poems until I was about 18, and I didn't write my first funny poems until I was 32.

Do you remember your first poem and if so, would you
please share it with us?

Yes, I do. My first funny kids poem was called Scrawny Tawny Skinner.

Scrawny Tawny Skinner

Scrawny little Tawny Skinner
could not, would not, eat her dinner.
Though her parents begged and pleaded,
Tawny would not sit and eat it.

They tried forcing, they tried coaxing;
Tawny said "I feel like chokesing!
I'm so full, my stomach hurts.
I think I should eat dessert!"

She would not eat lima beans;
she would not eat spinach greens.
She would not eat baby peas;
she would not eat cottage cheese.

Pushing food around her plate,
she said, "Look how much I ate!"
But no scrap of food got in her,
Tawny would not eat her dinner.

She would not eat mashed potatoes,
Brussels sprouts or sliced tomatoes.
She would not eat chicken legs,
hot roast beef or deviled eggs.

Tawny closed her mouth up tight,
and would not eat a single bite.
Every minute she grew thinner,
Scrawny little Tawny Skinner.

She would not eat pizza pie;
no baked beans, not one french fry.
Though she was quite thin and bony,
she would not eat macaroni!

What came next, I hate to repeat,
could happen to you if you don't eat.
Just what all her family feared--
she grew so thin she disappeared.

And though she was hungry an hour later,
they could not find her to reinflate her.
So next time you don't want your dinner
think of scrawny Tawny Skinner.

Before you were a poet, what were you?

I was a computer programmer. At the time that I wrote my first funny children's poem in 1994, I was working for Microsoft as a database specialist.

Do you have a specific place where you like to write poetry?

Yes and no. I don't have one single place I go to write poetry, but I do need to be alone in a quiet place to write, so I often write in my office at home or at the library. I also enjoy writing at coffee shops, but I find that it helps to have earplugs so I don't hear any music.

When you see somebody browsing or buying your books
in bookshops, how do you feel?

That's definitely a thrill, but it has only ever happened once.

Who is your favourite children's poet?

My favorite children's poets are Dennis Lee and Jack Prelutsky. I like a lot of other poets as well, but those two are tops on my list.

I have a dog called Chaos. Do you have any pets and do
they inspire any poems?

I have a black pug named Jesse, and two cats, Raki and Sambuca. I used to have a goldfish named Patrick but he died last month. In a way, he was the inspiration for my recent poem "My Goldfish Took up Tennis." My cats inspired a poem called "My Cat Likes to Sleep," Although I have written many poems about dogs, none of them were inspired by Jesse.

Do you know any languages? Do you write poems
in other languages too?

I know a few words of a lot of languages, but I don't speak any other languages; just enough to rent a hotel room, order a meal, and say thank you. In a way, that's why I wrote Learning Languages.

Learning Languages

My mom and dad learned Latin
many years ago in school.
My brother's taking Spanish,
which he thinks is pretty cool.

My sister studies French
because she loves the way they speak.
But I just like computers
so I'm learning Ancient Geek.

When you finish your poem, who's the first person who you show it too?

Usually the first person to see a new poem is one of my website visitors. I usually post new poems on my website before I show them to anyone. The first person I usually show a poem to is my wife or one of my two kids. So if you want to be among the first to read my newest poems, just check my website at www.poetry4kids.com every few days.

Is there any poem which you like so much that you wished you wrote it?

Not exactly. There are certainly poems that I like so much that I wish I could write a poem that well. One example is Jack Prelutsky's poem "The Soggy Frog" from his book The Sheriff of Rottenshot. Boy, do I wish I could write like that.

Have your publishers ever rejected any of your poems? How do you feel when that happens?

Yes. That happens all the time. In fact, I always write at least twice as many poems as I will need for a book so that the publisher can reject half or more and just keep the ones they like best. I don't worry about rejection. I just figure it's part of the job, and I keep writing. Even if a poem I really like gets rejected, I know I will be able to publish it somewhere else later.

Do you ever 'bin' your poems - if they aren't so good?

I keep everything. I may never show a poem to anyone, or I may never even finish a poem if I'm not happy with it, but I keep all of it because I never know when I might be able to finish or fix something and turn it into a decent poem.

What d'you do when you just don't get any ideas for writing a poem?

If I'm stuck for ideas, I just keep working at it until the ideas come. Sometimes I will write nothing but ideas for a while so that I have a list of ideas to choose from when I am ready to start writing.

You've written many poetry books. Which one's your favourite?

I don't really have a favorite book of my own. I like them all. But, since my favorite part of being a writer is the actual writing process, my favorite is usually whatever book I am working on at the moment.

What is the secret of keeping your readers entertained?

I think the secret to keeping readers entertained with a funny poem is to have a good rhythm so they enjoy the process of reading the poem, and to have a strong ending so they know they have something to look forward to as they read.

Your poem 'Ancient Romans, Ancient Greeks" is really funny. How did you come up with such a funny idea?

I wrote that poem in a library in Chicago while I was traveling, visiting schools. The idea came to me because I saw a book on ancient Greek culture and I began thinking about how hard it must have been for kids to learn how to write when words were carved in stone rather than than written on paper.

What was the funniest incident that happened in a school you visited?

Amazing things seem to happen at every school I visit, but I can't think of one off the top of my head that would qualify as the funniest. One of the funniest ideas I ever got from kids at a school was the idea for the poem Steve the Superhero. The idea for this poem came from the students at an assembly. We didn't use the idea in the assembly, so I jotted it down and wrote the poem later.

Steve the Superhero

I'm Steve the Superhero
and you simply won't believe
the superpowers I possess
by merely being Steve.

My smile can crack a mirror
and my breath can make you faint.
And when I take my socks off
it's been known to peel the paint.

The power in my underarms
can make a grown man cry.
A single burp can make you want
to crawl away and die.

The bad guys know it's hopeless,
so they all get up and leave
whenever they get wind of me -
the superhero Steve.

What was the funniest incident that happened in your life?

I don't know if this counts as a funny incident, but one of the stranger things in my life is that I have three fathers, all named Ed. My father's name is Ed; my step-father's name is Ed; and
my father-in-law's name is Ed.

If you could change something about yourself, what would you change?

Although I'm pretty comfortable begin who I am, I suppose the one thing I would change is that I would like to enjoy exercise more than I do. I'd much rather sit in front of a computer writing a poem than get outside and go for a run, and I'd love to be able to change that.

There is so much misery in the world. Do you think poetry
can change that?

I don't think poetry can cure poverty or disease or hunger, but there is no doubt that poetry can help people feel better. That's why I write funny poetry. I want to show kids that reading can be fun and can put a smile on their face even when they might not feel like smiling.

If you had 3 wishes, what would you wish for?

I suppose if someone were able to grant such wishes, I would wish first that my son and daughter grow up happy and healthy, second that the world's kids would never have to go hungry or get sick, and third, I would wish for three more wishes.

Thanks Kenn, and a big thankyou to Rhea for asking the questions. Watch out for Kenn's new books - coming soon. Santa Got Stuck in the Chimney - a collection of funny Christmas poems - with Linda Knaus and two new anthologies - Dinner with Dracula and I've Been Burping in the Classroom.

And don't forget to check out Kenn's website at www.poetry4kids.com

Back to the top, please.

roger